d r e a m i n g . of a brighter sky

Sam's Fugly 19th

2008-08-09T00:17:00.004+08:00

And so it was Fugly Sam's birthday on Sunday. Sorry for posting it only now, but Cara's been slow in sending me pics! :(

Sam and her 19 different flavoured donuts!

Classic lOl

music festival vs me

2008-07-28T22:57:00.003+08:00

So I got this today.

But as I have more important things to do than attend some random music festival, I chose to forfeit the two tickets. Even though I'm dying to see Travis perform live. Bye bye $300 tickets.

Somehow I can't think of anything to write, even though my mind was buzzing with ideas just a while ago. So I think I shall have the privilege of being lazy and just end it here.

Not with a period, going to get another Tim Tam! :P

Things happen..

2008-07-28T12:22:00.005+08:00

The Topman vest cost me $89. All because I couldn't use the discount voucher! Said vest isn't a sale item, so they said. I have this urge to roll my face in sandpaper.

Still, being the sucker-for-clothes-even-when-there's-no-discount, I bought it and proudly paraded in the streets of Orchard in it, complete with black skinnys, another Topman shirt, and my black Zinc bag. And as I didn't really feel that it was perfect, I decided to have a haircut over at the salon where I always patronize.

$18, but it was quite worth it. Actually the extra $8 was there because I chose to wash my hair. Like, water and shampoo cost that fucking much.

Meh.

The second aunt and her daughter came for a visit. I haven't really seen them for years, considering the fact that Singapore and San Franscisco are miles and miles and miles apart, although I would have lived in the latter. No, I'm not going to start another furious diatribe about the horrendous lack of reasons why I didn't choose the former.

Tim Tams are awesome, I can't believe I only bought them now. Chocolate biscuits covered in chocolate oozing with chocolatey goodness and indulgence. And I didn't really like chocolate because the sweetness fills me up with guilty pleasure. But, but, but, I somehow can't resist the temptation of Tim Tams.

Someone's big day is coming, wait for it!

And we used to spend the day playing hop-scotch, hide-and-seek, catching... Those days of innocent fun and worry-free happiness.

I realised...

2008-07-22T17:56:00.004+08:00

... that I haven't been posting for quite a while, despite me going out almost everyday with my friends. Maybe it's the blog hibernation period! So here's some random scattered mish-mash of what I've been doing.

I know that I've been going out alot as usual. But hey, in less than two months, I'm going to be stripped of all the privileges a free man could ever have.

Why? Because I'm enlisting for NS. Durr hur hur.

So now I'm taking advantage of my last few weeks of blissful freedom as much as possible. Outings with my best friends were the best! We went to watch fireworks, despite the fact that we were almost drenched in the rain; we had fun at a board game cafe, although it cost us a bomb(literally) because greedy people decided to overcharge us; and of course nothing could ever beat the feeling of being together with all my friends.

I'm so into old Chinese songs. I think they're like the best. Songs now really lack feeling, even though some might sound hip and creative.

Oh oh, and I love Ding Tai Feng! I had dinner there on Friday with Bart. And I ate alot! Omg, and he was so nice to treat me hehe. But he said I had to treat him to expensive food next time. O_O

I want that sleek black vest from Topman! I got a discount voucher, which takes 20% off sale items. Meaning I can use the Topman discount card with the voucher!! Lend me one someone! When I get that vest, I'm so going to wear it everyday. Giggity.

I feel sleepy, stupid rainy weather. Better stop writing random stuff, can't think of anymore things to write anyway! Time to camwhore again and post them here, hehe!

Some things only happen once. To me, it's like how the first taste of strawberry ice cream is the best. That pure sweet sensation, that dreamy feeling of indulgence, that first touch of what people call love.

Partay Pics

2008-07-12T23:49:00.009+08:00

Take 1: Bimbos

Take 2: Time to Party!

Take 3: Ballz, me and the next Fugly Model

Steamboat!

2008-07-12T13:15:00.004+08:00

And so I've been procrastinating about details of my Genting trip.

But then again, I decided not to blog about it because it wasn't really an exceptional travel experience. I mean, the usual stuff and all that!

Which leaves me to blog about what I did yesterday! I was chatting with Sam on MSN, and randomly brought up the topic of when are we going to have our long-due steamboat dinner. Then Cara sms-ed me later and decided to have dinner at Ballz's house!

The upturn of it - Sam and Cara were late!

Anyway, the steamboat was great! Considering I haven't had one for ages, and I was hungry.

After that, we just went into Ballz's room, and started doing random stuff like playing poker card games like Donkey, Blackjack etc etc, with the forfeit being the loser having to drink. As usual, Cara turned red after a few mouthfuls.

We decided that playing card games bored us too much in the end. So we cleared everything and started camwhoring. Then it's lights out and dance! I think the next time, we can just go to her house and treat it as a mini-club. So convenient!

Pictures up when Ballz decides to send me the photos! Wait for it!

curtains finally closing

2008-07-04T14:29:00.004+08:00

And so the finals of 'So you think you're Andro 2' is over!

And guess what!!

YES! Cara and Sam both got awarded 1st and 2nd place respectively!

Omg omg, it's like an unexpected twist. Because we didn't expect the both of them to be in the top 3 together, with so many other fierce competition. Let alone champion!

But of course, now everything done is really worth it!

I bet the both of them are a chockful of happiness right now! So am I and Ballz, and everyone else who has supported and believed in them this far.

Now, I'm off to Genting!! Hiatus until next Monday! Damn and I am going to miss the closing party of SUTYA 2!! :(

Expect pics when I get back, don't be impatient!!

i'm going to declare bankruptcy

2008-07-02T23:55:00.004+08:00

I'm so broke. Not broke as in broken, but broke.

I mean, I'm literally penniless.

Which so coincides with me having to go to this (really expensive)international buffet thing at Grand Copthorne yesterday. I didn't really want to go, mainly because it was like my last twenty bucks. But then again, I really haven't been to a grand buffet for a long, long, long time.

No pictures, which I regret. Because I'm really hungry at the moment, and somehow I need pictures of food to drool at! But overall, the buffet was nice, although it could be better. And as usual, I could have eaten more.

Meh.

We went to the same pub again after that. And yes we trekked the entire distance there.

And i mean, walking. 'A walk a day keeps the fats away', so they said.

Despite the fact that it was Tuesday, the crowd was full of young people. And as usual, Kim and me started eyeing cute guys. Then again, I decided there and then that our tastes are completely different.

Loi's friend sent us back home after that. Thank God I didn't have to spend more cash on cab fare home.

Genting trip on Fri! Can't wait! Oh and tomorrow's the finals of 'So You think you're Andro'! Everyone better get your ass(es) down to Play!!

Toodles

I sat alone on the swing, looking up at the stars. Suddenly, there you were standing next to me. And in that instant, you outshone even the brightest star in the night sky.

the symbolism of milk tea

2008-06-30T09:54:00.002+08:00

I switched to the pure sweetness of green apple milk tea, with a slight tinge of sourness.

And sometimes, it's just that I need to stop in my tracks and satisfy that occasional craving for sweetness.

Or whatever you define it as.

I always drink a different flavour of milk tea, depending on my mood or craving. Peppermint's my favourite, mainly because of the strong, minty flavour which never fails to perk me up no matter how tired or sleepy I feel. I go for the occasional honey flavour, one with a slight feeling of indulgence, up to you to define how sweet it is. And of course there's the green apple milk tea mentioned above, really sweet with a bit of sourness, much like the feeling of pure happiness.

I went to watch Sex and the City again on Saturday, with one of my friends. Somehow the movie never fails to impress me. Everything in the movie seems so perfect, yet so close to reality.

"We were perfectly happy until we decided to live happily ever after." - Carrie Bradshaw from 'Sex and the City'

And life's like that, ironically so.

Sometimes, I just ask myself. Why is it that so many people yearn to be able to fall in love, yet many of them end up getting hurt in one way or another. It's not that I don't have any faith in love. It's just that people nowadays fall in love way too easily, way too much. Somehow, I just don't know for myself what's love anymore either.

"So what is love? Does that mean calling his name fifty times more than I call mine? Is that love?" - Samantha Jones from 'Sex and the City'

Embracing the alluring possibilities one could have from singlehood, I walk along the busy streets, a cup of green apple milk tea in one hand. That pure sweetness, with a trace of sourness.

Maybe one day, love will fall down from the sky instead.

times like these

2008-06-24T15:29:00.004+08:00

And it's times like these remind me,

that I've got to keep my feet on the ground.

that smile of mine

2008-06-21T23:40:00.002+08:00

Every now and then, I'll go downstairs to the playground, sit on the swing, and just stay there looking at the bright little stars in the clear night sky.

And I'll sing songs that come into my mind. Any song.

Somehow, I feel really peaceful and happy whenever I do that.

Then again, everytime I think about this, I'll feel weird. Because I'm someone who really likes the company of others, someone who enjoys being in the centre of attraction. Somehow, being alone doesn't really seem to be what I really am. This leads me to think what type of person I really am.

One of my friends just told me he has been really happy these past few weeks. He had been shopping and buying stuff all this time, well it's the Great Singapore Sale after all! I can really make out the pure joy in his voice(or words), and I really really felt happy for him too. When people around me are happy, it made my day too. I never liked to see others depressed or upset, because then I'll do my utmost to cheer them up.

In the dead of the night, I'm alone in my room listening to music and chatting with friends. Strangely enough, I feel quite peaceful and contented, just doing all these things. Sometimes I think I really have a very simple definition of how happiness should be like. Myself, I always feel happy at the slightest opportunity. Maybe it's my optimism, maybe it's what I really am, and maybe it's because of my wonderful friends.

"Sometimes, it's just because I want to see your smile. And after that, nothing else will matter anymore."

It was then that I decided, that I wanted to be someone significant. Not significant in society, neither to be someone who really stands out. Significant as in, I know that I've made someone smile today; that I know I've made someone who was upset or depressed feel better. It doesn't matter if they remember, because at the end of the day I know I've done something I should have done.

Because sometimes, it's the little details in life that counts doesn't it?

Someone once asked me, why could I be so easily contented, and why I always seemed to be able to keep on smiling. That same person was a depressed soul. He felt that his whole life was in shambles, that somehow he just lived for the sake of living. I asked him about his friends, his family, his education. To those, he gave the same depressed replies.

I told him that I used to be like him, that I was once a sad, pitiful boy probably doomed to grow up into the same ill-fated person. Then, I remembered I always told myself that it isn't the worst yet. I'm relieved that I had so much faith then, and I'm glad that I still hold that much faith even now when I need it sometimes to get through. Quite ironic for someone who doesn't really believe in God though. You can say it's my own personal belief that everything will somehow turn out the way I want it to be.

Someday, we just have to wait.

I used to yearn for love too. After all, love's the best thing in the world isn't it? Go watch Sex and the City! I remembered I always envied those couples I see on the train or the bus, holding hands and hugging each other. I remembered I always cried my heart out when I watch those drama episodes where love is so highly preached. I remembered I used to dream and fantasize about having someone who will be there for me, and whom I can be there for.

Don't laugh, especially about the drama part. I'm sure you all cry when you watch soap operas!

Somehow, now I feel a bit different. I still fantasize and dream, I still feel the want of having someone to hold me and tell me that he loves me. But I know now, because I'm not alone anymore, that I have friends who I can live for as well, that I can avoid feeling lonely during those dark and cold nights. Because to me, my friends are part of my everything.

And even now, the haunting silence and emptiness of the night doesn't reach me the way it used to do. Because I know, after the night passes by, the sun will start to rise and a new day, another chapter in my life will start to start.

I used to want the whole world to see me the way I wanted them to see. But now I just want myself to see the way that I really want to be.

Ballz's 19th

2008-06-17T20:48:00.011+08:00

I know I've been procrastinating, but I'm finally down to it!

Anyway, Happy 19th Birthday Ballz!

Like what many others said, your 19th birthday is the last birthday before you enter your twentieths. So it's like as important as the 18th or 21th birthday!

This year was actually the first year that we could celebrate Ballz birthday on the actual date itself. Due to unfortunate turn of events like overseas trips or family matters, we couldn't do so for the past few years(sorry Ballz!). So you bet Ballz was an entire ballful of happiness on Sunday.

We ate at Ajisen Ramen, due to the fact that like half of us were literally penniless. Sam and Cara had spent the previous night thinking up of 19 dares for Ballz to do on her birthday as well. Also, on the way, Sam decided to be a cheapskate and pick up a whole stack of freebie stickers, which we found different ways in to use them.

Poor Ballz, all I could say is that I wished we could have celebrated your birthday in a more memorable and meaningful way, seeing as it was the first year that we celebrated it on the actual day. Still, we didn't mean to make you sad or degraded. It's ok, you can think of 19 dares for us to do on our birthdays!!

All in all, we hoped that you really had fun, and that Sunday was a really memorable birthday for you! Happy 19th again(although it's late by two days!). (:

And I'm learning to fall, because I know that I will be stronger, and life without you will be more bearable.

Fugly Sam

2008-06-14T21:54:00.005+08:00

I just realised that Sam entering the Semi-Finals of 'So you think you're Andro' means that I would have to go again two weeks later.

Damn it.

But anyway, at least she made it past the first elimination round without getting kicked out(despite her fugliness).

Updates coming soon! Ballz birthday tomorrow!!

Expect loads of pictures (:

reality bites

2008-06-13T18:20:00.003+08:00

Times like this really depress me. And sometimes, I really want to throw away everything, the burdens I've been shouldering; the sadness and emptiness haunting me.

Listening to emo songs doesn't really help a lot either. Damn.

I used to think that I knew everything, that I had everything that I wanted. Yet I wasn't in the least bit satisfied. In truth, I didn't have everything I wanted either. Material pleasures, realistic yet so superficial, failed to give me the things I've been searching for. I dream often; dreamt of things I really want; hankered for that little bit of virtual fantasy. Yet, dreams don't really come true do they?

I would hardly say I'm a realist, more of an idealist. I find solace when I am alone by myself, listening to soothing classical music and just lying there on my bed, doing nothing. Yet, a greater part of me really wanted to be out there, hanging out with my friends, shopping, spending a crazy night together.

It's all great and fun when you are in your little dreamy world, indulging in the fantasies and pleasures without caring about any consequences that might happen. Yet when the cold, hard reality hits, it's like 'BAM'! Everything's gone in that instant, and you're once again back in that world of dark, cruel reality.

That's how I feel right now. Somehow.

It's alright, I always tell myself that this isn't the worst yet. Somehow, I'm really glad that I still have my optimism to get me through periods of emptiness, times when I feel neglected and lonely. Getting through them wasn't as easy as it seems though, it's akin to struggling in this vast ocean, where you are the only one there alone. The sinking feeling, literally, isn't pleasurable.

I could really write an essay right now, but somehow my thoughts wouldn't form themselves into words.

Funny how easier it is to actually think than to write.

Today is a winding road that's taking me to places
that I didn't want to go, Whoa
Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something
and I do not know why I tried

I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation
For what I'm feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder,
and I said, Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Maybe there is a way out. Till then, I'm waiting for someone to be my thunder.

Sometimes, listening to sad songs when you're feeling depressed further darkens your mood. But somehow I feel that I could relate to them, and I feel quite peaceful whenever I listen to songs that fits my mood.

Play!

2008-06-08T11:31:00.004+08:00

Sex and the City was a blast! Even with censorship, I still find that the movie was quite a success. There are quite a few hilarious scenes, and not to mention the hot sex scenes as well, which was rather short though. All in all, a good watch.

Anyway, I went to the preview of "So you think you're Andro" at Play on Thursday! For more information, go to http://derised.blogspot.com/ where you can find the actual link to the TwoQueensParty website itself(I'm too lazy to link it here). But the whole place was practically swarming with girls that day, hot and fugly alike. Still, the preview was quite a hit, with Chua En Lai as the emcee for the event, and judges Irene Ang, Rebecca Tan, and some guy from Fridae.com. Sam didn't manage to emerge Top 3 that night though, and neither did Cara, which was a bit disappointing. But still, we have the elimination rounds to look forward to!

And so I was complaining about the lack of hot guys that night on Thursday, I actually went to hook up with one of my friends to Play on Saturday, which was yesterday! The club was surprisingly empty at 9.30pm when we reached, so Bart and I decided to go and explore the area looking for this Kopitiam to have dinner. We walked for ages, and then we finally found the location. After Bart had his meal, we walked back to the club, which by that time was drizzling slightly. Thank God it didn't evolve into a thunderstorm.

We passed by Taboo, another gay bar. Bart said that place is usually full of fat, old angmohs trying to pick younger guys up. He had this painful encounter once, when he wanted to go in, but the moment he opened the door, he saw this group of fat, old uncles standing at the entrance. He got so turned off that he just left the place.

Anyway, the club was still considerably empty when we went back at 10.30pm, save for some early birds who were there just for the free entry. So me and Bart sat down and chatted, while eyeing random hot guys who bypassed us. I was criticising every now and then at the fashion sense of the people who were walking around. Omg seriously, some people have no idea in the world how to dress up. I'm not even going to bother elaborating further.

The night ended up with wild dancing on the dance floor, which took a painfully long time to fill up. I had came to the conclusion then that guys took a much longer time to actually take the initiative than girls. Nobody wanted to start dancing at all, probably because of fear of embarrassment. Still, the dance floor filled up in the end, and me and Bart started dancing around too. The music wasn't that great unlike Thursday, but it was ok I guess. We danced till like 2am, when Bart had to leave, so we just hailed a taxi and went back home.

I just realised I've cleanly forgotten to write about what happened on Friday. So here it is! I met up with Peggy, Huilin, Jieying, Jidan(Junwei), and Dada on Friday afternoon for lunch at Lot1. Pepper lunch time! Although I regretted it immediately because it somehow made my sore throat worse. But still I missed the food at Lot1, and the whole place had changed a lot from the last time I came here.

We went to take bus 190 after that. On the way, Me and Jieying were just gossiping about random stuff, when we noticed this particular guy sitting in front of us. He was wearing what looked like a telephone cord around his neck. You know, the curly curly wire thingy. I was just about to comment about it as loud as I could, when I noticed that he was wearing this black cross earring and an earstud on his left ear, and another earstud on his right ear. And he was carrying this freaking old phone from LG, which I think by now could have earned a place in the museum. The sad thing is, I couldn't see how he looked like though. Meh. And throughout the journey, me and Jieying continued our gossip about random people who were on the bus, including this pair of girls who decided that the bus would be a perfect place to broadcast one of their favourite songs from their phone. It was freaking irritating, the bus isn't a place for you to be your own DJ. I was going to start writing about their fashion sense, but I decided it is going to be a waste of my time.

We reached the museum, and spent like two hours or so walking around the entire place. History is fascinating, and the works of art there were brilliant too. Not going to write about every single detail in the museum, as it would probably take a week for me to do so. We finished the museum tour, which cost us $5, and emerged from the chilly museum, into the bright open sunlight. Maomao came along when we were halfway through the museum tour too.

We walked all the way from the museum to Marina Square. On the way, both Jieying and Huilin were complaining about how the guys were walking so fast, that they were finding it extremely hard to catch up, in heels. So by the time we reached Marina Square, me, Jieying, and Huilin were all suffering from aching feet. After that, I had to explore the entire building with Jieying to find the ATM where she could withdraw cash. Omg, my poor aching feet.

Waraku was too full, so we decided to eat at Hans in the end. I don't really like the food there, because I think it wasn't really worth my money. Boon and Sam came along to meet us, and I had to actually find Sam and bring her to the restaurant because the direction idiot in her took control and she became lost.

We went to some random bar at Esplanade to sit down and chat for a while. Took some pictures, and chatted quite a bit. I quite like the ambiance there, quiet and peaceful, although I think it was because the bar was literally empty except for some other patrons.

We walked back to City Hall Mrt after that, where we had a good laugh at Sam's abysmal sense of direction when she tried to take the wrong escalators. The train was quite packed, so we had to stand. Upon reaching Admiralty, me, Sam and Jieying alighted, bidding farewell to Huilin. Sam met Cara at the station, and both of them went to have supper at Mcdonalds. So me and Jieying went over to the bus stop and took the bus back home.

So now, I'm still having my sore throat. I really need to stop having late nights out. Seriously.

Toodles! (:

lolcats

2008-06-04T11:29:00.004+08:00

The day's hot, the weather's humid, and I seriously have nothing to do.

Actually I was supposed to write a really long article, but then I got too lazy as usual researching stuff, so I went to google funny cat pictures.

I can't really find alot which caught my eye! Going to post more next time! Stay in tune!

I declare

2008-06-01T17:59:00.003+08:00

that I'm hereby sick of Clarke Quay.

Because of the amazing fact that I've been to that area for the past five consecutive days, and arrived home no earlier than 3am.

And now I have a freaking sore throat. Because I'm heaty all over from all the late nights.

So I'm definitely going to refrain from going there for the next few days! Omg.

Oh and I'm going to Play! On thursday! For Sam and Cara's participation in "So you think you are Andro". It's only the Preview though!

Need to drink more water, if not I'll probably lose my voice.

my poor

2008-05-31T13:46:00.004+08:00

aching feet, omg.

Seriously, yesterday was the fourth consecutive day I went town. Can you imagine? Four days! Town! As if there's anything to walk in the first place. Like hey, Singapore is freaking big yeah.

Still, I cherish the time I get to spend with my best friends. After all nothing gets better than that right?

But STILL, *gives my tired feet a well-deserved pat*.

I think my legs are really in shape now, having walked the entire span of Clarke Quay back and forth a few times these few days. Well it's good exercise! A walk a day keeps the fats away.

IF I HAD FATS TO BURN!

I didn't take any pictures yesterday though, as I went out in my brand new pair of black skinny jeans. As I would look like a total fashion disaster(Sam) if I do carry my bag, I decided to leave everything back home. But anyway, I think I look great! No pics though, to the utter disappointment of readers, I know!

TopMan tops for $9!! Shopping-spree time! I need to really snatch them up before others beat me to it. Seriously.

I'm so sleepy, I want to sleep the day away again!

"Because I'm so profoundly happy, happiness like this can be frightening." - Peggy

Wed's Pics

2008-05-30T11:34:00.003+08:00

These were taken with Sam's laptop at Food Republic! I love the special effects!!

introducing...

2008-05-29T16:53:00.003+08:00

The Sock!

I have to create this special new post for him. If not he'll probably come after me with a chopper, decapitate me, and dunk my head in a cauldron of hot, boiling oil.

What should I say about him? Ok ok here's something nice. He sings well! Like me! Although I've yet to witness his ulitmate singing prowess, which should be soon!

Wait for it!

updates

2008-05-29T13:31:00.006+08:00

Due to extreme lack of sleep, I've haven't been logging on and blogging much. So I'm writing this massive wall of text to describe where I've been for the past few days.

Tuesday

I met up with my friends from WoW. Went to Meridian Hotel basement food centre to have dinner. To be honest, my impression of Meridian Hotel is that it's a shady, low-class place swarming with old uncles picking up younger ladies. I mean, that used to be what someone told me!

Then as usual, we went to TCC to drink coffee, this time at Plaza Singapura. Seriously I'm sure I've been to like half the TCC outlets in Singapore already. But also as usual, I didn't drink anything - I don't like coffee much.

Kim came along, and after that Dan's friends met us as well. We took some pictures and chatted till it was closing time and the waiters were apparently wearing that 'We are closing and we hope that you'll clear off asap' expression on their faces. Nonetheless, we cleared the area and randomly stopped outside Plaza Singapura and stood there for a while.

Edit: It's not 'a while', it's freaking half an hour.

So in the end, tired of standing around. We walked to Parklane while deciding what to do, while giggling at Ian's indirect verbal assaults at Kim. We saw this KTV pub, and decided to go in. I was forced to sing, oh well it didn't matter, I know I sound nice. And so we stayed there till 2am, and we went our separate ways. Took a taxi with Dave back home.

Wednesday

Sam said that she couldn't meet me on Tuesday because she had this dental surgery appointment. So we decided to meet up today, so I could buy my jeans.

Since she finished at 12, I went directly to Ngee Ann Polytechnic to find her. I felt a sense of nostalgia the moment I stepped into the school. I mean, this was where I spend my last two years of education at. Well technically I wouldn't say I really 'studied' here, since the course I studied was probably categorised under the 'Most Boring Courses of the Century'.

We strolled to canteen 2 to have our lunch. I really miss the food here. I ate first while Sam fumbled with her laptop. Then she went to buy lunch while I sipped on my cup of Mountain Dew. As it was raining when we finished, we had no choice but to walk all the way back to the front gate to take the bus, while Sam related her painful encounter of having her left arm caught on the door hinge as we walked.

On the bus, Sam decided to watch Spongebob Squarepants movies, since it was quite a long journey. As usual, the people at the back started to become interested and join in watching, although they couldn't hear what the characters in the movie said because me and Sam were listening through earphones.

We reached City Hall and alighted. The rain had abated, but the ground was definitely dangerously slippery, which proved deadly for me since I chose to wear that slippery pair of slippers. Well like Sam said, slippers get their name for being slippery. Do they?

I bought my jeans, a pair of black skinny ones for $15. To our utmost dismay, it was raining heavily when we went out of the shopping mall. So we went back in and shopped some more, and we discovered an underpass which would take us to the next building! Still that didn't really solve our problems as we needed to cross the road to get to Raffles City. In the end, we decided to brave the rain and cross the road in the pouring rain. Well at least there were like a few dozen others like us!

Sam bought a peanut butter donut at Donut Factory at Raffles City, and decided to be the most unglam donut consumer by dripping peanut butter on her hands while eating. We shopped around at Topman and River Island, where the shirts are really nice, but expensive. Duh.

We met up with Ballz and her classmates at City Hall Mrt station. And we had to go back to Penisula Plaza AGAIN because Ballz friend wanted to buy a pair of jeans as she soiled her current pair. So we trekked back, thankfully with no rain this time, but a pair of really aching feet.

Ballz friends headed off after buying the jeans, so me, Sam and Ballz took the train to Orchard. We went to Starbucks at Wisma, and there we sat looking at the pics for the upcoming competition at Play, where both Sam and Cara will be participating. While we were there, Ballz saw this really hot guy who had half his buttons of his shirt unbuttoned. But the moment he stood up, Ballz got turned off, because the guy was freaking short. Haha what a disappointment!

We went to have our dinner at Food Republic, where I didn't eat anything because I think the food there is quite expensive. Nevertheless, due to extreme boredom and inability to curb the camwhores in us, we started taking pictures with Sam's laptop, which I realised was a really great tool for taking pictures, with its different effects and stuff.

Walked to Cineleisure after that, and shopped around, mainly for shoes. Walked a fair bit too, my legs are pretty much in shape now I think, and my feet are aching because I'm wearing slippers.

And I saw this really cute guy in NUM.

We walked back to Taka after that, and got some Gloria Bean Cafe vouchers along the way. We grabbed some food at the basement, and I dripped sauce onto my white shirt while eating toriyaki. In frustration, I zipped up my black cardigan to hide the small but really obvious stain. We saw Beefball and her friend, and we waited for Sam's friend, Aza, at the fountain. Watched Looney Tunes cartoon as we waited.

Finally we walked out of Taka, and headed back to Cineleisure. Again.

Bought some coffee and iced drinks using the vouchers we got earlier. And Sam decided to display the typical behaviour of someone who's on high, and spilled coffee onto the floor, nearly missing my jeans! So we sat outside Cineleisure, and chatted, and watched a little caterpillar slowly making its way to the other side. Ok that was random.

We went to take the MRT back home. Nothing much to do on the train anyway.

Well at least I got my jeans today!

I define happiness as something simple and pure, like a cup of icy HL milk.

lack of sleep

2008-05-25T04:07:00.003+08:00

I discovered that I'm having a really pathetic amount of sleep recently.

Firstly yesterday, I reached home at like 5am in the morning, slept for around four hours. Went to eat lunch after that at Causeway Point, then got back home and immediately flopped onto my bed and slept till 6pm.

Now it's 4.56am and I'm at Pam's house, where both Pam and me are the only ones awake. Sam and the others are sleeping, and so are the rest of Pam's family.

I think Pam is reading some random Harry Potter fanfiction, omg. I was relieving my childhood memories of Maplestory, but gave up in the end as it became too boring to kill the same thing over and over again.

Talk about repetitiveness.

I also discovered the fact that I'm always on an all-time high mood whenever I have insufficient sleep. Not high as in that high you get when you're on crack. More like I imagine more stuff and tend to let my emotions wander around when I do not have enough sleep. I suffer from a special type of 'insomnia', particularly during nights when I think too much about random stuff and couldn't go to sleep in the end.

So the clock just ticked 5am. Another hour or so to go before I take the train back home. But then again, I feel like eating breakfast before I go home and sleep!

Definitely going to sleep the day away. And it's Sunday omg.

Oh and to Kari, Happy Birthday!!

Clarke Quay Pictures

2008-05-24T10:32:00.002+08:00

that was really candid, thanks Sam

the two best friends in my life - a fugly bitch and a fishball

could have taken more pictures of Singapore's nightlife, but I'm too lazy

the Singapore Bungee Drop!! I'm going to go on there one day!

camwhoring in progress, decided not to post ALL the pictures I have cos I'm too lazy waiting for them to load

another random shot, of me wearing Cara's vest

omg your face is really round in this picture ballz!

Sam deciding to embarass the two of us by dancing to music in open public

lastly, I love you both! :)

n i g h t w a l k

2008-05-24T10:31:00.003+08:00

It's Saturday morning! I'm feeling really groggy at the moment seeing as I reached home no more than five hours ago, and I didn't really sleep much.

So anyway, I headed to Orchard Road for Oli's birthday BBQ yesterday. Met up with JiaWei at Clementi beforehand. Once again, people decided to test my ability to be the world's most patient person. I was late by five minutes, and I waited like forty-five minutes after that standing and wandering aimlessly around the bus stop waiting for him to arrive. Seriously, if I wasn't unsure of how to get to the location for the BBQ, I wouldn't even have planned to meet up with him in the first place.

Why? Because he's possibly the world's most irritating idiot I've ever met in my entire life.

We reached the venue in the end, and met up with some other friends. But overall it was quite boring, since I didn't really know her friends. And all they do are drinking and playing poker cards, which I refrain from with great dislike. To add evidence to what I declared about JiaWei, he got drunk; pushed random people in the swimming pool; got pushed into the swimming pool; got their handphones spoilt due to water exposure; and nearly got into a fight because of it.

God, the idiocy of some people nowadays. I'm not even going to bother elaborating further.

Since the BBQ was quite boring as I had nothing much to do, I called Sam and agreed to meet her and Ballz at Bugis. But first, I walked all the way from Orchard Hotel to Wisma, where I shopped for a bit, then to Cineleisure; then I trekked the distance to Plaza Singapura, where I bought a cup of really cold Hokkaido lychee ice cream, which literally left a stinging, burning sensation on my tongue after I had finished eating it. Which Sam said was a total contradiction, since something cannot be cold and burning at the same time. I met up with Sam and Ballz at Bugis, where we decided to take a bus to Clarke Quay to stroll around.

I have to admit, the nightlife of Singapore somehow attracts me a lot. Its nightclubs, bars, discos, cafes, restaurants all come alive when the sun sets and when darkness starts to envelop the city. Its like a different phase of life has started. Tired and weary job workers, after a stressful day at work, come here to dance the night away; or simply sit down in a cafe with fellow friends and chat over a nice cup of coffee. Throngs of people crowd outside the popular clubs, eagerly waiting to get in and party like there's no tomorrow. Couples and friends alike, sitting by the quiet Singapore River, engaged in little conversations and admiring the beautiful night scenery.

The three of us however, wasted no time in displaying the traits of being the world's biggest camwhores. Took a lot of pictures in many different poses while walking around. Also, we stopped by the Singapore Bungee thingy and watched in a mixture of awe and shock as thrill-seekers pay the admission fee and go into the metal cage for that once-in-a-lifetime experience. In the end, we settled down by the river, munching off sandwiches and drinking tea/milk.

4am, we decided it was the time to take the night bus home. We arrived at the bus stop, where Ballz met one of her friends, and on the bus Sam got acquainted with a friend of Ballz's friend, who actually turned out to be her primary school classmate! So I was saying, Singapore is really small.

Played Guitar Hero on Sam's laptop on the bus back Woodlands. We took a cab at Woodlands Checkpoint since we can share the cab fare together. So Ballz was saying how the nasi lemak here taste really delicious. I should come here some other time too. I miss the food there!

Walking alone in the crowded streets of Orchard Road, I trekked the whole distance tired and weary. But at the end of the day, I have friends to finish the journey with me, and I feel that everything's worth it.

tuesday post #2

2008-05-21T16:26:00.003+08:00

Was too tired to blog when I reached home yesterday.

Anyway, I was having this random, weird nightmare about some evil witch dropping some girl into a big pot of hot lava, when I heard my handphone ring. Phew.

It was Jieying, who decided to suddenly ask me out for dinner. Apparently she just knocked off work and had to go for piano lessons after dinner.

So we decided to eat at the food court at Causeway Point. Not surprisingly, it has really changed quite a bit, seeing as I haven't been there for like more than six months. My favourite stall is gone too! No more stir fried venison with fried rice!

I had to take the train to Bugis after dinner, because I was to meet Xinhuan and the others there. Oh and I took the chance to wear my new black cardigan! Somehow I feel that I'm attracting a lot of attention. But maybe I'm thinking too much.

I reached Bugis and met Xin, then we went up to the arcade to find Mey and Dan, who apparently was busy playing King of Fighters. Walked around in the noisy arcade while waiting for Dan to finish his game. Finally, we walked out of the arcade, where the noise pollution was reaching a level high enough to hurt my ears, and went across the road to some random hawker centre to eat. And it was sweltering hot and stuffy there, apparently the fans stationed there didn't help one bit.

The four of us went to The Coffee Connoisseur to sit down and chat. I was a bit annoyed at the fact that the TCC that we chose didn't serve soups or main courses, only snacks/desserts/drinks. In the end, I didn't eat anything, and we just sat down and chatted about boring game strategies, which I find that we do a lot whenever we meet up. I mean seriously, can't we do anything else?

Mey left early, as he didn't want to spend hours sitting down theorycrafting game strategies. We finally left at like 11pm, and me and Xin went to take the train while Dan headed for the bus stop. Chatted with Xin and we finally went separate ways.

Once again, I noticed that people were staring at me on the train. There must be something on my face, or seriously I'm way too cute. Sorry couldn't resist.

The way people find love, is like searching for something they know they can never discover. Yet when they finally find it, it's as if the novelty has disappeared, and the feeling's lost.

HortPark Pictures

2008-05-19T22:51:00.011+08:00

the entrance of HortPark

cute little tree

there're cables supporting these bunch of sticks, so I'm like a stick posing with a bunch of sticks

the water plants are beautiful :D

I should seriously take a picture of me skipping along to that pretty pink bridge, but on a second thought, no.

Wizard of Oz theme - The really fugly witch, the trying-its-best-to-be-a-cute lion, the tin man, and Dorothy. wait that's a real girl!

Me on the roller. Sorry couldn't resist.

JiaWei you're supposed to include the pots into the picture as well omg.

Seriously, all the buildings just spoilt the beauty of the floral displays.

It's totally embarassing, I mean there're people around watching us like we're some narcissistic camwhores.

JiaWei trying his best to look photogenic, but he's doing a bad job at it

Taken when we came out of the park

Hot Day at HortPark

2008-05-19T22:48:00.006+08:00

Went out with JiaWei today. The poor thing, he's only here because today is Vesak Day(which I didn't notice at all!), that's why he's allowed to come out to take a breather. If not he'll be stuck for the whole day at OCS(Officer Cadet School)!

So ya, as I was saying. Yesterday I decided to ask JiaWei out, since he doesn't have a lot of opportunities to get out and relax.

Had lunch at Thai Express at Raffles City. I was going to take a picture of the food, but conveniently forgot when the long awaited plate of rice was finally served to our table. By then, JiaWei has already finished his avocado milkshake, and was starting on his glass of not-very-cold plain water. Ordered Stir Fried Chicken with Thai Basil and rice. Apparently the menu says it's spicy, so I decided to order a Watermelon Lime Iced Juice to go with it, as it was stated on the menu that it is really good in putting out the burning flames of Thai spice. What I didn't expect, was for the chicken to be THIS SPICY. YES IT WAS FREAKING SPICY. To the extent that I was gulping down large mouthfuls of NOT-VERY-HELPFUL-IN-RELIEVING-SPICYNESS-Watermelon Lime Iced Juice. And JiaWei was there giggling at my futile attempts to finish the food. Still I managed to finish it, with a considerable amount of chicken(and red red hot chillis) left, which JiaWei decided to finish for me.

Anyway after that, we went around to the bus stop to take the bus to HortPark. It was our first time going there, so naturally we were there staring at the bus directory trying to see which bus to take. While waiting for the bus, JiaWei and me engaged into a furious debate about Singapore and its government/social policies, with me voicing out my dissent as loud as I could. Yes I simply hate Singapore for introducing the absurd and completely pointless policy of National Service. And JiaWei was saying how those people who are physically worse off finds it harder to get jobs in the future, seeing as employers usually look into your NS records and stuff.

Fucked up. It's totally fucked up. Yes, fucked up.

Seriously, I don't really see the need to enforce National Service on EVERY SINGLE GUY IN SINGAPORE. In my opinion, it should be made to be a voluntarily option, like how it is made available to women. I really don't foresee Singapore getting invaded or getting rolled up into some wartime conflict between other nations. Maybe soon we'll get invaded by aliens from outer space, but that's a totally different story you fucktards.

So anyway, we reached HortPark in the end, with JiaWei's dubious feelings about getting off at the wrong stop. And I have to admit, he's right. It is fucking sunny and hot as hell. So by the time we finished walking the entire span of the park, the both of us were sweating buckets. But hey, it was all worth it. The park itself is really beautiful, the scenery panaromic, and the environment is really nice and tranquil. There are a lot of displays, and there's also a playground where little children can play at. Obviously, I couldn't resist the urge and so I went ahead and took a picture.After like twenty minutes, we decided to walk back to the entrance, where JiaWei decided to embarass the both of us by taking poser pictures of his own shadow, then shamelessly dragging me to do the same with him. I mean, THERE ARE PEOPLE WATCHING OMG.

Took the bus back to Vivo City. And we were so relieved to be in the air-conditioned premises of the bus, the weather was really a killer. We bought ice-cream at Ben and Jerry's, and took them outside to eat. Sat down at the balcony, and watched the sea and the ships go by while slowly eating our melting ice cream. Then JiaWei decided to bore me by spending half an hour at a bookstore looking for a book to buy, while I wandered around reading really random stuff like Kim Possible and Mr Midnight. JiaWei finally bought a book, which looked suspiciously like the biography of Plato.

Anyway, we walked around after that, and went into Spades, where the salesgirl there became really happy and spontaneous and began to shove us different clothes and accessories. I tried on a pair of white pants, WHICH I REALLY WANTED TO BUY, but it was like $79.90 and I wasn't sure I wanted to buy in the end. But JiaWei bought a black long-sleeved shirt, which I thought looked really good on him. Oh AND THE BELTS THERE ARE REALLY COOL, I mean, seriously, they have fucking HUGE, SILVER BUCKLES. Totally attracts your attention. AND I FINALLY BOUGHT MY CARDIGAN! Yayism. I went into IP Zone, a store which I frequent because I think the apparel in there really suits my fashion sense. And the first thing that caught my eye was this black cardigan with a cute little hood - something which I always wanted. Naturally I tried it on, and finally bought it! Felt so happy. After that me and JiaWei went into the toilet and changed into our newly bought clothes, and went to take the MRT back to Woodlands as he had to go back home for his family dinner.

Reached Woodlands, but didn't feel like eating because my stomach was churning slightly from walking around the entire day. Still I went ahead to eat Yoshinoya, and finish with my usual cup of icy peppermint milk tea.

Going to post the pictures on next post, since Blogger decided to go on strike and doesn't want to post my pictures on this entry.

Peggy: "I want to go to the Arts Museum!"
JiaWei: "I want to visit the Zoo, Birdpark and I want to go to Sentosa!"
Me: "I should really go and club one day."

idiocy and the city

2008-05-16T19:01:00.003+08:00

So I visited Ching's blog and found this link from her recent post. Clicked on it, spent like the first five minutes reading the entire thing.

First thing I did was laugh at the total idiocy of the livejournal post Ching had linked on her blog.

Then I raged up immediately.

Yes, rage. Fucking hot, boiling rage. At that instant, I really felt like a kettle of boiling water, with the stove on still.

Some guy decides to start this Project, called the Open Source Boob Project. I believe with the level of intelligence, however pathetic, you fucktwits have, you wouldn't have any problems recognising the four words I've just typed in the above sentence.

Yes. OPEN SOURCE BOOB PROJECT.

For those of you who has heard of it, or who has even experienced it. Good on you! But for those who are lost, I shall once again revive that intermittent rage and absolute disgust that I had when I read the post, and explain to you what those four words fucking means.

Open Source Boob Project. So it starts from someone who apparently thinks it's witty to ask someone, "Hey can I touch your boobs?" Also, the same person thinks that 'this should be a better world', 'where sex isn't shameful or degrading' and where feeling other's boobs is 'a way of saying that I may not yet know your mind, but your body is beautiful'.

Fuck no, don't even try to give me this shit.

The hilarious truth is, people do agree to it.

'And life seemed so much simpler.' Fuck, you don't tell me you touched someone's boobs, and everything comes down to this single, simple conclusion. Admit it, you fucking felt someone's boobs. Yes that someone let you. SO FUCKING WHAT?

Reading the post, I felt more and more disgusted. The way the writer described his experiences with different people; like he's this person who goes around feeling and assessing boobs, much like someone who goes around in an arts museum appreciating the works of art displayed there.

Fuck you. Breasts are not works of art displayed just for your sole purpose of feeling them and grading them.

Yes, you might say it's about 'voluntarily lowering the barriers' that separate people; that those who allow their breasts to be touched are generally more open-minded. But seriously, they get their breasts touched and felt around by random people who 90% of the time, just wanted a quick feel.

And what do those whose breasts get touched get in the end? That pathetic, pitiful vote of approval? That fake boost of ego? That superficial grade of self confidence and appreciation?

Let me fucking tell you this. If I had breasts, I wouldn't go strutting around in the streets and let any random Tom, Dick or Harry come up to me and ask, "Hey can I touch your boobs?"

No, seriously fuck off.

People who need to let others access their own attractiveness or beauty, seriously are dumb-witted fucktards. So you just want to know - 'Are my boobs good enough to be touched?' Let me tell you this - You don't need someone else to tell you that. You don't need to let people touch or feel you, in order to get that acknowledgement that you're beautiful or sexy.

If I ever need a lesson on self confidence, I definitely wouldn't need to stoop that low. I don't need other people to decide whether I'm attractive or not; whether I'm sexy or not; whether you can fucking touch me or not.

Imagine, if someone on the streets agrees to letting some random dude touch her breasts. The next thing you know, there'll be a beeline of perverted, sick fucks all raring to get that quick feel.

Yes, the society is so realistic.

If you say no? You get the feeling that you're not part of the 'trend'. In my opinion, all these breast touching is like a new craze. It's like, "Hey you know, it's the trend nowadays for men to touch and feel your boobs! Lets let them get a feel at it! This way I know my boobs are good enough to be touched!'

Quote: 'Touch the magic, my friends. Touch the magic.'

Fuck you and your useless shit. What magic, boobs aren't magic.

To top it off, they even have this badge thing going on. 'Yes' for people who allow others to touch their boobs, and 'No' for people who don't allow it to happen to them.

Once again, guess what? The number of people who chose 'Yes', far outnumbers those who chose 'No'.

Like what I said, it's like a trend, some new fashion craze. Those who chose 'Yes' belong to the cool gang; those who chose 'No' are like the outcasts, those shunned by others. Kinda feels like if you belong to the 'No' group, you get this feeling that others are thinking that you're being old-fashioned and rigid.

I'm so raged up I can't even think properly. Yet I feel I really need to write about this.

Because why? All so that people know that there are actually pathetic fuckwits out there who do such pathetic things. That's why the society's going down. That's why the world's going down. Seriously, give me a minute for me to actually rant at this failure of a planet for actually having such idiots and their irresponsible fucked-up actions.

To summarise, yes I'm a guy and I don't have boobs. But I can fucking understand, and I actually agree that women's breasts are not a tool of enjoyment, and neither are they used to grade one's attractiveness or beauty. I'm not being rigid, neither am I being so old-fashioned. Hey, you can touch boobs for all I care.

But limit it to your sex partner, not anyone who you pick up on the streets.

i t ' s . t u e s d a y

2008-05-13T22:01:00.006+08:00

I simply hate Tuesdays.

No apparent reason why so. It's just that somehow everything's crap on this day.

I went out with Yi Chao and his friend from his polytechnic, what's-his-name, Jerry I think. Anyway, yesterday night Yi Chao and me were chatting on Msn and discussing what to eat for lunch today. Akira, Hog's Breath Cafe and other random dining places popped up.

Hell no, it's fucking expensive to eat at those places.

So we went to this Japanese restaurant - Nihon Muza, or whatever it's called. It means Japanese Village. Apparently they have this buffet and you can eat all you want for $15+, so that's what Jerry said anyway. I went with the mindset that I can actually have sushi for lunch.

Except for the fact that it wasn't lunch. I mean, how can you call having a meal at 2pm as lunch?

And to top it off, the menu says "High Tea Buffet".

Oh well, at least the food there was nice. The salmon was fresh, and no I didn't order the sashimi, I just based it on the salmon sushi that I ate. And overall the food there was good, much like Sakae Sushi, except that there are different choices and somehow the fried tofu tasted a bit saltier. I didn't get to enjoy my chicken wings and bacon mushroom though! I was guessing that they probably overlooked my order and didn't serve it. So in the end I got tired of waiting and we decided to leave.

Food: Nice
Service: Good
Ambiance: Fuck I rarely give a damn about the ambiance.
Cost: Approximately $17.50, that's what I paid.

But then again, I'm not really fussy about food to be honest. Anything that agrees with my taste buds, I'll probably denote it as good food. So we took the train to Orchard after that, because Yi Chao wanted to service his phone at Wisma.

Speaking of him, I've come to the conclusion that he's the laziest person I've ever known in this failure of a planet.

When we met up earlier at Novena MRT before going to eat, he took the courtesy of showing me two handphones. Apparently, one of them was the previous phone that he used, and the second one was the phone that he wanted to send in for service.

"So actually I have been delaying to send this phone in for service. For like almost a few weeks." So he said, with that tiny hint of pride in his voice.

I sighed, "So, what's the reason then? For not doing so earlier?"

"Lazy lor, actually I had wanted to do so. But in the end I didn't feel like it because I didn't want to leave the house. Well now that we're out, I can bring this phone to service!" He exclaimed proudly.

At that time, I really felt like strangling him, ripping off all his fats, and dunking them into this massive cauldron of hot, boiling oil. He actually procrastinated about sending his phone in to service, and waited till someone asked him out, all so that he can "take the chance to service his phone".

Excuse me for a minute or two while I go bang my head on the pathetic wall while screaming aloud at the pathetic world for having such pathetic goons with such pathetic behaviour.

But to be evilly frank, there are others in this fucktard of a planet who are worse off. Many others.

This brings me to Peggy's famous quote - "Stupid people just have to die".

Putting that aside, I realised I ate Japanese cuisine for both lunch, OR HIGH TEA IF IT SOUNDS NICER, and dinner as well. Japanese buffet for lunch/high tea, and I had Yoshinoya for dinner afterwards. Seriously, I might just die one day from over-dosage of Japanese food. I should probably refrain from touching anything Japanese for the next few days, lest I get indoctrinated and start speaking in Japanese gibberish.

And yes, I realised I'm really bored. Because it's fucking Tuesday.

Andrew Grosvenor - "Fell in Love", with that simple, catchy melody. And yes, I want to be "the boy that fell in love".

f a m i l y

2008-05-12T15:56:00.007+08:00

Peggy's famous quote - "Stupid people just have to die!"

A continuation of the many different topics that were discussed during the outing on Saturday. To summarise it all, I went out with my friends on Saturday. Had fun at a board game cafe; walked along the quiet Singapore River; strolled here and there looking for a Starbucks cafe to sit down and relax.

So while we were taking the train back home, somehow the topic of discussion turned to stupid people and what they do.

The first thing Peggy said was, "I think stupid people really have to die," her voice totally filled with disgust and indignity.

After that, as the train slowly sped on, we chatted about our families. For Peggy and Junwei, they were saying how they totally feel disgusted about those relatives who are rich and apparently sport that obnoxious or complacent attitude towards the rest of the family; whereas Huilin was complaining about how it was so hard having two different family branches spread out between Singapore and Malaysia.

"And you know, I really don't feel like calling them every week and asking whether they wanted to come down for dinner. My grandmother dotes on them and wishes to be able to see her grandchildren, but all they do is come down here and have dinner. After that they just leave as if the entire dinner was like a meal at a restaurant." Peggy piped up, fuming indignantly.

Family relations can really be a troublesome affair huh?

I remember until like a year or two ago, my relationship with my cousins was anything but congenial. It might be due to lack of interaction because we all live in different parts of Singapore, and we rarely gather and communicate, save for that once in a year Chinese New Year dinner; or it might be due to my straightforward character that many detest. Not to say that my cousins aren't open minded or that they are a stick in the mud, but we definitely don't see eye to eye on many matters.

Still, it was my eldest cousin who decided to make the effort. I guess he believed that tolerance is the key to building a good relationship. Also, he organised regular gatherings at board game cafes or karoke sessions, as some of us love to sing. All in all, I would say he contributed the most to the friendly relationship we have between us cousin now. Even though we might still argue a bit here and there, but the animosity isn't present anymore.

I'm somehow glad I did not have those arrogant, obnoxious relatives like what Junwei or Peggy have to endure with; and I'm really happy that I can still consider the relationship between my relatives and my family as a close one. But then again, as we discussed more and more, I somehow began to think: "What will I do if my relatives are like Peggy's or Junwei's relatives; and what will I do too if the people in my family are unfriendly or even hostile towards each other, to the point that we just lead our separate lives and not care about each other?

To be honest, I don't even know the answer to that.

In my innocent mind, I still feel that blood is thicker than water. We might ignore each other completely if we see each other on the streets; or we might hang the phone up on one another and avoid having even a simple conversation. But at the end of the day, the same blood still runs in our veins. The fact that we are family, that we come from the same ancestor, is totally undeniable. I still chose to believe that we as humans, are human.

Yet somehow it's really funny how realistic the real world is.

I wonder if I were to express my opinion above, how many people would agree with me. I doubt there will be even a handful. Family arguments, divorces, failed marriages, broke-up families, are becoming an increasingly common sight in the society nowadays. The word family is overrated now. How many people that you see on the streets actually consists of happy, blissful families? How many children these days actually celebrate Father's or Mother's Day? To be honest, I don't even bother.

Walking on the busy street, I somehow realised that everyone has their own burden to carry; their own job to carry out; their different destination to go to. Heads bowed down, shuffling their heavy footsteps, carrying that heavy black briefcase or handbag, I wonder how many of these people actually have a happy family that one would definitely be envious of.

Maybe one day, we will realise how important the word 'family' is.

Listening to Kit Chan's "Tian Leng Jiu Hui Jia", Den suddenly appreciates how beautiful life can be when one has a great family to turn to. And deep in his heart he murmurs softly, "Mom, happy Mother's Day, and thank you."

r e a l i t y

2008-05-12T00:23:00.002+08:00

I've always seen myself as someone who dreams. After all, who doesn't? The cold, hard reality of the world can really drive one nuts these days. So every now and then, I prefer to allow myself to sink into that beautiful, carefree world of fairy tales and wonderland.

Funny how it hurts when you land back onto reality with a bump eh?

I remembered the conversations I had with my friends yesterday when we went out for our group gathering. We had this awesome session at a board game cafe, and after that we strolled around leisurely around the Singapore river, which as usual was filled with that nostalgic, carefree feeling.

"So why not get a job? After all you aren't doing anything while waiting for National Service anyway." My friend asked me casually, yet I could sense that reprimanding tone in his voice.

"Oh well, you know me. I'm lazy and there aren't really any jobs suited for me!" I shot back with my usual answer, knowing full well a lecture was coming.

But somehow, listening to what my good friends had to say about me not finding something to do, awakened something in me. Much like a stone thrown into the calm river, creating a wave of ripples in the azure blue waters. At that time, I probably landed back into the real world from my dreamland.

Not with a hard bump though.

Probably more like a gentle feeling, like a sharp poke your classmate gives you to wake you up when you're sleeping sneakily during that particular boring lecture. Maybe it is because I realised I don't really have time to idle around anymore, or maybe because I wanted to be able to buy that particular bag or pair of shoes. I suddenly felt like finding a part time job.

But for now, I still think I will want to jump onto that comfortable, inviting bed of mine; abandon all thoughts and feelings, and allow myself to sink back into that carefree, stress-less fairytale land.

After all, it doesn't hurt to dream a bit, does it?

sitting at a roadside cafe with a nice, soothing cup of icy peppermint milk tea, Den wonders at the fast-changing pace of the society and life. But then again he decides to just be a casual onlooker, and slowly sips his drink as the people weave in and out of the busy crowd, each with their different destination to go to.

t h e . m o m e n t

2008-05-11T01:35:00.011+08:00

you've been waiting for!

- me and Huilin -

I realise I actually look fat in this picture!

- Maomao, Junwei and me -

psst Junwei should smile more

- me and Maomao -

I swear Huilin's right arm just went missing!

everyone loves my spectacles

there's another picture of Huilin wearing it

but why bother?

- me and Huilin at Starbucks Marina Square -

don't ask me why is it black and white

but it's the only picture I have with Peggy.

and lastly, me!

t o . y o u

2008-05-09T19:07:00.002+08:00

makin' my way downtown
walking fast
faces pass and I'm homebound

staring blankly ahead
just makin' my way
I'm makin' a waythrough the crowd

and I need you
and I miss you
and now I wonder

if I could fall into the sky
do you think time would pass me by
cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
if I could see you ... tonight

my all time favourite song
Vanessa Carlton - 'A Thousand Miles'

got my phone back today
and it was the first song I listened to
and as I walked along the busy streets of Orchard Road
I felt a sudden carefree feeling
and I had the urge to just dance and skip around
right there on the pavement

thank God I didn't.

and I wonder
if we could go dancing in the rain.
just you and me.

and I, I don't want to let you know
I, I drown in your memory
I, I don't want to let this go
I, I don't ...

but I know I won't be able to walk a thousand miles,
because Singapore is freaking small.

m e

2008-05-09T11:33:00.003+08:00

so look!

want to know more?
go take the test la!

c a t c h i n g . u p

2008-05-08T18:03:00.003+08:00

I decided to remove that cbox from my blog
since I realised not many people would tag in it anyway.

been a boring day
I felt so sleepy nowadays
slept in till like 2pm today

guess it's the weather again.

So I was chatting with peggy and jy earlier
and reading up blogs and stuff

I realised I miss my secondary school life
when I was reading ching's blog
I chanced upon the 4M1 posts

memories, memories

the carefree days
days without stress
well not that much stress
where all we worried about were our studies

reminds me of David Tao's - '22'

oh and I totally laughed at the pictures we had
and then I laughed again at how much I have changed this past two years
and how much everyone has changed

maybe the sands of time can backflow
and we would once again be able to return to that time

waiting for my brother to return from Taiwan
so I can get my camera back!
and post some pictures
I realised I've changed a lot

meh

don't we all?

a n g e l

2008-05-08T13:10:00.003+08:00

David Tao's - 'Angel'

was the song which was playing when I woke up from my morning nap
at that time, somehow I was mesmerized
by the lyrics
or by the tune
I don't even know

suddenly, I felt that my world just became so pure and beautiful.

was a bit frustrated though
couldn't find links to the lyrics.
or I would have posted them here

meh

I felt the urge to suddenly run to the beach
lie down there
and just sing the day away

don't even care if anyone's listening
after all
the sky, the clouds, the birds in the sky
or simply,
Mother Nature

they're my audience
aren't they?

I believe
at that time, nothing else will matter
nothing.

b l i s s

2008-05-07T19:10:00.000+08:00

the feeling of pure bliss.
I think, is none other than a cup of icy, soothing peppermint milk tea.

minus the pearls though, I hate them.

so I waited like half an hour to get my phone serviced, not bad I thought.
well at least I didn't have to wait more than an hour like last time.
probably because it's a weekday.
but then again, so many people walking on the busy streets
chatting while enjoying a nice cup of cold latte
or simply just sitting on the benches by the sidewalk, indulging in each other's presence.

that's pure bliss too.

I love crowds, but it really depends on what type of crowd it is.
crowds like those at a party or a club, can be really fun and active
crowds like those in a public transport during peak hours, mainly gets on my nerves.

kinda makes you feel like sardines packed in a tin eh
except I definitely don't smell that way.

jostling here and there
tired faces, faces eager to get home quickly
just to be able to enjoy that warm dinner with the family
or simply retreat back into that comfortable cove for a nice, relaxing rest.
mixed feelings, all packed into the narrow, confined space of the train.

I realised I didn't enjoy Yoshinoya's salmon rice bowl that much today
even when I haven't eaten it for like two weeks. maybe I got tired of it.

meh.
I'm that fickle
or maybe I feel sick from the earlier jostling here and there in the packed train.
maybe it's time to switch to another new love.
haha

so I'm left without my handphone for two days
going to miss it, but then again I don't really use it.
went to town with the walkman in my phone on
listening to t.A.t.U
"All the things she said"

felt kinda empty going back home without it.

looking at the grey, stormy sky in the train
luckily it didn't rain much
I got lost while trying to find the exit out of Orchard MRT too
realised I haven't been there for like three months now.

funny how my life seemed to change quite so much.
my mind still picturing the people walking along the streets.
like busy little ants, all with their different destination to go to.
in my mind
I saw the people sitting on the benches alongside the busy pavement, couples and friends alike
chatting about things so unrelated about the fast moving pace of society nowadays
like time around them has stopped

wished I could do that too.

then again
I would have liked to sit down at a cafe by the busy street
watching the throngs of people go by
wondering how the pace of society is affecting us
chuckling at the many mundane things we humans do all the time to keep up with it

with a cup of icy, soothing peppermint milk tea.

c h a p t e r . o n e

2008-05-07T13:09:00.000+08:00

back to blogger, although it took me quite a bit of trouble to reclaim back my account.
gave up on lifejournal.
meh
was too much of a trouble too anyway.

so I asked ballz to make me a new blogskin. since I always wanted my blog to stand out from the rest, to have its own unique appearance and character.

who asked me to suck at doing this kind of stuff anyway.

and so it rained again this morning.
felt sleepy, as usual.
oh well, it's a great excuse not to drag my feet all the way to town to get my handphone fixed.
the camera's function spoilt, so I can't take any pictures.
not that I do anyway.

so I thought
a new blog, a new start.
maybe I could once more write about all the things I'm going to encounter in my life.

meh.

counting down,
to the day I'm going to enlist for NS, don't know when though.

so I was browsing through forums and stuff
and I read up on some love stories posted there.
I think it's really great that people could be together, after all the ordeals they've gone through.

but I guess stories like that are scarce now in this ever-changing society.

not going to get my hopes up anyway